Missed Promise
by mightydaydreamer
Summary: Olivia is undercover, and Alex has gone into labour. Will she make it back in time? And will she be able to bond with the baby?
1. Close, but Not Quite

By: Mightydaydreamer & Liv-x-Case-Benson

**Chapter 1: Close, but Not Quite**

Elliot groaned as his phone rang and he rolled over in bed, trying to ignore the bright red numbers on the alarm clock. "Stabler."

"Where is Olivia?" Alex's voice came down the line, and he gave a sigh.

"Alex, we've been through this, you know I can't tell you."

"WHERE IS SHE?!"

"Alex-"

"My water's broken, and she promised she would be back in time."

He woke up with a start. "I still can't tell you, but I can drive you to the hospital."

"Can you at least get word to her?!"

He sighed. "I can try. If need be, would you okay with someone else with you?"

She yelled down the phone loud enough to wake Kathy next to him. She took the phone from him and signaled for him to go and get her.

"Alex, it's going to be okay. Do you want me to meet you?" Kathy asked.

"What I want is Olivia!"

"Olivia might not be able to make it..."

Alex let out a long breath as a contraction hit her.

"Elliot, wait!" Kathy yelled as he closed the door, getting in on the other side. "Go!"

* * *

An hour later they were at the hospital and Alex was pacing the hospital room.

"Try to take it easy, Alex. This first ones aren't deemed "the easiest". It's going to be okay."

"It's not going to be okay. It's 2 weeks early and Olivia isn't here."

Kathy nodded. "No one expected this. Just try to calm down."

"Would you be calm if I were you?"

"No, but I'd be grateful not to be alone," Kathy replied honestly.

Alex sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. "I am, but I just-" A moan escaped her as another contraction hit.

Kathy sat beside her, rubbing her back. "I know. You both made the commitment and it's scary without her, but I promise to be here if she can't. I think I owe her that."

"I just want to talk to her." Tears prickled in her eyes.

* * *

Elliot called Fin from a block away. "I need to talk to her. It's important."

Fin gave a sigh. "I'll do what I can. Give me a few minutes."

"Okay. Tell her it's about her wife. And please try to hurry."

Ten minutes later, his phone rang and he grabbed it. "Liv?"

"Yes," she said, walking into a corner in a whisper. "What is it?"

"It's Alex-"

"Oh God," she moaned, "don't tell me. She's early, isn't she?"

"She's asking for you."

Olivia nodded. "I know, I know, but it's kinda hard to get away. I-I wouldn't know how to..."

"It's okay. I just promised her I would let you know. She wouldn't want you to put yourself in danger. I better get back, but I can try and call again later…to let you know how everything went?"

Olivia sighed. "Yes," she said in a whispered, voice breaking, "please do."

"She'll be fine."

"I know, but...I've always promised and—"

* * *

At the hospital, Alex gave a long moan and the nurse looked at Kathy. "She's almost fully dilated. It's going quickly. Are you sure you can't get her partner?"

* * *

Olivia handed the phone back to Fin, eyes on the floor. "I want out. Just for this. Just for a couple hours...but..."

"..I'll call the captain, see if he can think of anything."

She nodded, heading back to the dealer's side. She had to get out of here.

* * *

A short time later, Alex fell back against the pillows, sweat on her forehead, her hand releasing Kathy's from the tight grip she'd been holding it in. At the end of the bed, there was a loud, healthy cry.

Kathy walked to the foot of the bed. "She looks perfect," she said with a smile as she walked back over, dabbing Alex's forehead.

A tear fell out the corner of Alex's eye. "But Olivia wasn't here."

"Honey, I'm sorry. You know she wanted to be."

Someone walked in. The doctor recognized her. "You just barely missed it. Would you like to cut?"

She nodded. "Yes, I certainly would."

Alex lifted her head and tried to sit up, but Kathy put a hand on her shoulder.

Olivia cut the cord, wrapping their daughter in a pink blanket and walking over. Only...with the dark makeup and slutty clothes that were required for the dealer's girl, it didn't look like her. "Hi."

Alex bit her lips, tears still falling, and gave a soft laugh. "Nice legs.

Olivia smiled, sitting on the bed. "Why thank you," she said, wiping the tears away. "I'm so sorry."

Alex reached up and brushed her fingers against the baby's cheek.

Olivia smiled, kissing the infant on the cheek. "You're perfect. Just like Mommy."

"Do you have to go back?"

Olivia looked down. "Alex, you know I'd rather be here with the two of you..."

Alex smiled, more tears falling. "Be careful." She dropped a kiss to her cheek.

Olivia laid their daughter in her arms, giving her a long kiss and hugging her tightly. "I love you. I promise I'll be careful. And I'll try to be home soon."

Alex nodded, more tears falling as the baby's tiny hand wrapped around Olivia's finger.

Olivia turned to Fin. "Any idea how much longer?"

"Five minutes," he offered apologetically, because slipping from the room to wait outside with everyone else.

Olivia laid beside her, wrapping her arms around them. "But you're both okay. That's the main thing."

Alex nodded, trying and failing to control her tears. "Look, she has dark hair, just like her mama!"

Olivia nodded, resting her head on Alex's shoulder. "Yes she does."

"Any idea for a name yet?" The baby gave a yawn and nestled into Alex.

"No. You?"

Alex shook her head and rested her head on Olivia's. A second later, she was fast asleep.

Olivia held them close, knowing it might be a while before she saw them again. "Madison," Olivia whispered in Alex's ear, "Name her Madison."


	2. Coming Home

**Chapter 2: Coming Home**

A couple of days later, Fin appeared and made a scene before pulling Olivia roughing into an unused room.

"What the hell's going on?"

"Nothin'. I just got a present for you." He pulled out his phone.

Olivia smiled. "Can you keep watch?"

He nodded, pushing his phone into her hands and walking to the door. There was a video entitled 'Madison's first bath.'

The video showed Alex in their kitchen, giving Madison her first bath. At first, the infant cried because of the water, then it showed Alex calmly soothing her, cooing to her as she washed her clean. It brought a tear to her eye at how much she was missing, even now. "C-Can I call?"

He shook his head. "Sorry. There's another video. And don't worry, I didn't watch it."

Olivia wondered why. She pulled up the video and it showed Alex breastfeeding Madison for the first time, one hand on Alex's cheek and looking at her. Sighing happily, she closed the phone, handing it back to him. "Thank you. I wish I could be there and please keep those and send them."

He nodded. "Cragen says it shouldn't be too long. A week longer at most. You better get back out there before someone tries to charge me for your services."

Olivia smiled. "And you'd be smiling. Try to have Cragen get word to her, will you?" she said, walking back out.

* * *

Olivia walked into the 1-6 after Fin a week later to report to Cragen. She walked back, knocking on the closed door.

"Come in," he called, winking at Alex

Olivia opened the door. "Captain, I-" When she caught a glimpse of Alex she walked over and hugged her tightly. "Oh god, have I missed you!"

"Just me?" Alex asked with a smile, holding her hand tightly as she stepped back to reveal the baby stroller.

Olivia grinned, picking up a sleepy Madison. "Oh hi baby girl," she said, wrapping her arms tightly around her, kissing her cheek. "I've missed you too."

She tried to, sleepily, latch onto Olivia's nipple.

Olivia laughed, laying her flat in her arms. "No sweetie, I don't have any food."

She snuggled up to Olivia and her eyes shut slowly.

The captain smiled and touched her arm. "Go home. You can come in tomorrow to talk, and then you can start your leave."

Olivia smiled. "Can I have my badge and arm? It'd make me feel a little more confident."

He nodded, handing them to Alex instead who turned the stroller around. "When we get home, you need to wash that make up off and put on some pants!"

Olivia nodded. "Sounds good. I'm tired of being the girl."

"Good, because you in bright blue eye shadow is freaking me out!"

Olivia smiled, walking out to the car and sitting in the passenger side. "It's so good to be home."

Alex took the baby from her carefully and put her in the car seat before climbing into the driver's side. "Say that again when you see what a mess the house is."

"I still say it'll be better than where I've been. I've been everyone's bitch for over two months. I need an examination and a hot shower, but I had the exam before coming to the precinct and I'm clean. Thank God..."

Alex hated hearing about Olivia's undercover work, it always made her feel too scared to let her out of her sight. Instead of replying, she drove silently

Olivia squeezed her hand. "I'm sorry."

"I still don't get why you had to be the one to go when I was seven months pregnant."

"I'm the only woman on the squad. It had to be me. Could you imagine Fin in a dress?"

"I'd rather not." she gave a small smile

Olivia leaned over, kissing her cheek. "I really missed you."

When they reached home, the apartment really was a mess, fresh and dirty washing everywhere, bits of baby furniture half pit together, half eaten food.

Olivia sighed. "Take Madison back to our room and I'll do a quick run through."

Tears spring to Alex's eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm just so tired."

Olivia set the car seat on the floor, hugging Alex tightly, kissing her passionately. "It's okay. Don't worry. I understand."

Alex wiped her tears away and rested on her a little. "Why don't you go and shower first?"

Olivia smiled. "Are you sure?"

Alex nodded, giving a small smile back. "You don't smell like Liv."

"I will soon enough," the detective said walking back to their bedroom, stripping and getting into the shower. Olivia scrubbed all the remains of the undercover case off of her. The stench, the feeling of being used. She scrubbed it all off with her favorite scented body wash.

Alex went to the kitchen, intending to make her something to eat, but found the fridge mostly empty. Her tears threatening again, she sat on the couch.

Olivia walked back out in sweats and a t-shirt. "Aww, Lex," she said, sitting beside her, "what's the matter?"

Aware somehow of her mother's distress, Madison began to cry.

Olivia kissed Alex passionately. "You go tend to her and I'll order dinner. We can go shopping tomorrow...or I can."

Alex nodded and stood wearily.

Olivia ordered their usual Chinese, walking back to the nursery, smiling at seeing Alex in the rocker with Madison.

They were both half asleep as Madison drank and Alex rocked slowly, wrapped in a blanket.

The detective walked up, sitting beside them on the floor. "Such a beautiful picture."

Alex smiled. "She didn't want to at first, she refused to and cried. I felt terrible...but when I wrap us in a blanket it seems to calm her down."

Olivia smiled, stroking the child's cheek. "That's a good thing. You've had something to outwardly bond over."

"You want to take her to burp her?"

Olivia was about to reply when there was a knock on the door. "Can't. Food's here."

"I'll get the food." Alex held the baby up to her.

Olivia smiled, taking Madison and the rag from Alex's shoulder, sitting in the spot to burp her.

At the loss of Alex, she became unsettled, but soon calmed and gazed up at Olivia from wide, blue eyes.

Olivia smiled, stroking her cheek. "Hi baby girl. I love you."

As Olivia rocked, Madison's eyes began to drift slowly closed. In the kitchen, holding the first hot meal she'd had in almost 2 weeks, Alex began to eat.

Moments later, little Madison was asleep. Olivia laid her in her crib and walked out to the kitchen. "Hungry?"

Sauce around her mouth which was stuffed full of food, Alex gave an apologetic smile.

Olivia smiled, grabbing plates and silverware and setting the table and sitting down.

* * *

Two hours later, Olivia was slowly making her way around the house clearing up, washing dishes and clothes. Alex was fast asleep on the couch, curled up in one of Olivia's jackets. As Olivia passed the nursery, she heard a whimper.

Olivia walked into the nursery. "Aww, what's wrong?" she asked, taking the baby into her arms. "What's the matter?"

She gave a wide, gummy yawn and then gazed up at Olivia. The gaze was so distracting it was a few moments before she noticed the soiled sheets.

"Uh oh, well, Mama can get that changed," she said, lying her on the changing table and changing her diaper before changing out the sheets.

She wriggled, but every time Olivia looked towards her, she'd stop and stare up at her.

Olivia smiled, kissing her belly.

Her chubby legs kicked and a small hand grabbed onto Olivia's hair.

Olivia grabbed her feet, kissing them. "Mwah."

Alex stopped in the doorway and smiled.

Olivia pointed to the door way. "Look, there's Mommy."

"I think she knows me more as the person who feeds her, at the moment." Alex yawned, resting her head on Olivia's shoulder. "Oo it smells in here. Sorry."

"Diaper pail, soiled sheets, what do you expect?"

"I did try to make her promise not to do one of those when you got home, but I guess she's a bit like you, never sticks to her promises." Alex smiled.

Olivia smiled, then realized what she said, handing Madison to her and storming out.

Alex suddenly realized how she must have taken it and followed her out, the baby still in her arms. "Liv! I didn't mean it that way."

Olivia sighed. "I know, but I tried to be here for the baby. You know I did."

"I know, I don't blame you."

Olivia sighed again. "But I do. If I hadn't taken the assignment I could've been here."

"How about you pay me back by changing all the poopy nappies, do you think that would be a good idea, baby?" She looked down at Madison who responded by dribbling.

Olivia smiled, taking Madison from her and patting the spot beside her.

Alex sat beside her and yawned again. "We need to go shopping and finish putting together some of the things we have, and she needs more clothes and-" Her voice trailed off as she fell asleep again.

Olivia laughed. "Have you been keeping Mommy up at night, huh? Have you?"

Madison just looked up at her wide eyed, holding tightly to Olivia's shirt.

Olivia kissed her cheek. "You're sure the cutest baby I've seen. Yes you are!"

Alex slept most of the afternoon, waking only when Madison began to get hungry and Olivia could no longer comfort her.

Olivia had laid Madison in her crib a few hours ago and had just gotten back from the store before covering Alex up with a blanket and kissing her cheek.

Alex woke a little and reached out for her, her eyes flickering open. "Hi."

Olivia hugged her, kissing her cheek. "Hi. Did you sleep well?"

"I haven't slept so well in weeks." Alex stretched a little, smiling up at her. "I'm glad to have you home."

Olivia smiled. "It's good to be home. I just got back from the store. Madison's still sleeping."

"What have you done to her? With me, she cried non-stop, but as soon as you get home, she's sleeping properly." Alex sat up.

Olivia sat beside her. "It's just like before I left, remember? When she wouldn't settle down and I'd rub your belly and talk to her and, just like that, she'd settle down."

"I guess this means you're on night duty from now on then, hmm? I can deal with that." Alex smiled, lying down again and resting her head on Olivia's lap.

Olivia smiled. "Aww, I don't get my first home-cooked meal in months? I went to the store just for that."

Alex lifted up a hand to pull down Olivia's head and kissed her gently, then sat up. "Okay, I'll make your favorite, and you look after your daughter if she wakes up and try to put together..whatever the hell that thing is I started putting together. Deal?"

"Oh you mean the baby swing I saw half assembled?"

"I don't even know anymore. There are a few manuals by the door. If I look at them anymore, I may go postal."

Olivia smiled. "Oh that would be horrible!"

Alex bent over and nipped her earlobe before standing.


End file.
